Friends of Athens,

Today, mankind has aspired toward new, startling and grandiose achievements. My work–the sweat of my brow, the fruit of my labor–is available for preorder on But when, you ask, will I need to occupy myself in the study of Russian? I recommend that you remain at all times vigilant–the threat of communism lurks behind every corner, growing like a mold in the refrigerator-like minds of every desperate anarchist. Will you suffer your children the fate of living in a despotic nation? I dare say, no! Learn Russian. Arm yourselves! Preorder now!